Posted By AnastaciaSharolyn841 on February 23, 2012
Step children are not always excited to have a new step parent in their lives, therefore you need to understand this and move cautiously in this relationship. Whether through an accident, or a separation due to their parents failed relationship, they may not adjust to you for some time. Getting used to a new step parent can be very difficult for some children, especially if the loss of their biological parent was very recent. Step children may find it very difficult to accept you at first, especially dependent upon the way they lost the other parent.
The biggest deciding factor on how you and your stepchildren interact with each other will be their ages. If the child is very young, a toddler or even younger, then it?s very likely that the child will eventually think of you as their ?real? parent. Before you jump into a marriage or relationship where you will have to interact with the children of your partner, you need to give serious thought to what your responsibilities will be. Your function with older children will, for the most part, not be as a pseudo-parent but as a friend and confidant. The original parent of teen-aged stepchildren in any new marriage will most likely be the primary parent with the stepparent assuming a supporting role. To be sure, each family faced with these same circumstances will have different needs, but the age of the stepchildren will be the deciding factor in how you handle your step-parenting role.
Make sure you take an interest in the lives of your step children. As a new parent, this won?t always be easy, but it?s essential if you?re ever to play a significant role in their lives. Making a few simple inquiries in regard to what classes they like the most, or who their best friend might be is a good beginning. If you don?t know anything about what your step children are doing, you?ll remain a stranger.
This isn?t that difficult, but it?s something you have to pay attention to. By showing them that you are interested in their lives, it might open them up to more dialogue and further interactions. Children really appreciate it when you show some genuine interest in what they are doing, which may not be reflected by their initial reactions.
Some things can become blown out of proportion, though they are really not that much to worry about. How the stepchildren address you on a daily basis is the problem. Whether they address you as mom or dad is an issue that can become very tense. You should always respect the role of the original parent, regardless of the fact that you are now in these children?s lives. Deciding whether or not to call you mom or dad should be up to the step children as they adjust to your new role in your presence within their lives. The best thing to do is to let them call you by your first name.
In conclusion, it?s never easy to start a new family, especially when children are involved. Today, as about half of all marriages end in divorce, and people are more likely to start new relationships later in life, the role of step parent is becoming ever more common. Flexibility and patience are the keys to successfully functioning in a new family environment. Learning how to bond with step-kids is one of the most important skill sets to learn.
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